Valentine's Day 2006
Well, my site's been online for over a year now. And, after a long sabbatical, this is my first post of the year 2006. So, here it is.
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Happy Valentine’s Day…
Bah!
What does this world know of love anyway? The ads for True.com (those of you who know me know I have a personal vendetta against True.com) are even more gaudy, and I just saw an article on how dating is all about you (at least they’re honest about it now) as opposed to your date. And while people could argue with that, and do so well, I am just appalled. I know dating is usually all about self gratification. And that’s why I avoid the whole concept. Don’t get me wrong, there are times when I feel like running straight up to someone I know and asking them out, but I won’t. It’s not to say I won’t date, just that my priorities are different.
Now before some of you start coming at me with knives, let me clarify. Dating is not synonymous with sin or lust. It’s just my opinion that there is a better way. The fact that dating is a relatively new concept furthers my belief in a better way. Dating wasn’t possible until the advent of the automobile, so that young couples could get away from group settings and go off by themselves. Now, I pose this question to you, “What reason would a couple have to go off and be apart from their friends and family?” And don’t jump all over me simply because that’s not the way it’s done anymore. Seriously think about it. I know I have. And I’ve come to some conclusions.
Couples get away from the group setting to be alone with each other because they want privacy. Fair enough. But, privacy for what? Closer physical contact (again, don’t jump to narrow conclusions. I’m speaking of anything to embracing to intimacy)? Private conversation? Simply because they are ashamed of their families or friends? What?
If we were brought up in a loving home, we should never have reason to be ashamed of our families. In fact, we should be proud. I know I am. And private conversation? You can have private conversation just about anywhere. The argument just doesn’t hold up. But, physical contact? I feel that may very well be the main reason. Not that there’s anything wrong with a hug now and then or holding hands. But, if you read the Bible, or even if you just have eyes to see with, you know that human beings were created to be sexual beings. As a friend of mine was fond of saying, “God made sex, and He made it to be good.” It’s in His plan that we reproduce, through marriage. However, there is the small matter of hormones.
Hormones can influence our thinking and actions quite a bit. And God knows this. He made the system. He also gave us complete control over our actions, so that while we may be influenced by our hormones, ultimately we are the ones in control. Still, they can be a strong influence. A piece of advice in Song of Solomon is, “do not awaken love before it is ready”. I believe that is where dating becomes ultimately dangerous. For, if the reason we remove ourselves from the group setting is so that we can have privacy, then we lose accountability. Who is to say what may happen if love is awakened too early, while we are alone?
Now, I understand that some dates are all about just having fun. Going to a movie, eating out, picnics and even just staying out late so that you both can see the meteor shower that night together. For some people, dating is a system that works. I’m not here to condemn anyone. All I know is what I see, what I read in the Bible and what I feel myself. And it’s not about just being careful to avoid sin or lust. Really, I think what’s missing is accountability. And it can be had in other ways then just staying with your family. Let someone who cares about you know where you’re going and when you’ll be back. Let them understand to ask questions, check facts and just plain be there to keep you straight. I don’t suggest we take someone with us when we date. What I do suggest is more group setting activities and someone to keep you both accountable to each other, and to God. Because Jesus loved us first, as a groom loves His bride, He cares about us. We have already been “spiritually married” to Christ as the Church. Let’s follow His example to us in everything, even dating.
--------------------
Happy Valentine’s Day…
Bah!
What does this world know of love anyway? The ads for True.com (those of you who know me know I have a personal vendetta against True.com) are even more gaudy, and I just saw an article on how dating is all about you (at least they’re honest about it now) as opposed to your date. And while people could argue with that, and do so well, I am just appalled. I know dating is usually all about self gratification. And that’s why I avoid the whole concept. Don’t get me wrong, there are times when I feel like running straight up to someone I know and asking them out, but I won’t. It’s not to say I won’t date, just that my priorities are different.
Now before some of you start coming at me with knives, let me clarify. Dating is not synonymous with sin or lust. It’s just my opinion that there is a better way. The fact that dating is a relatively new concept furthers my belief in a better way. Dating wasn’t possible until the advent of the automobile, so that young couples could get away from group settings and go off by themselves. Now, I pose this question to you, “What reason would a couple have to go off and be apart from their friends and family?” And don’t jump all over me simply because that’s not the way it’s done anymore. Seriously think about it. I know I have. And I’ve come to some conclusions.
Couples get away from the group setting to be alone with each other because they want privacy. Fair enough. But, privacy for what? Closer physical contact (again, don’t jump to narrow conclusions. I’m speaking of anything to embracing to intimacy)? Private conversation? Simply because they are ashamed of their families or friends? What?
If we were brought up in a loving home, we should never have reason to be ashamed of our families. In fact, we should be proud. I know I am. And private conversation? You can have private conversation just about anywhere. The argument just doesn’t hold up. But, physical contact? I feel that may very well be the main reason. Not that there’s anything wrong with a hug now and then or holding hands. But, if you read the Bible, or even if you just have eyes to see with, you know that human beings were created to be sexual beings. As a friend of mine was fond of saying, “God made sex, and He made it to be good.” It’s in His plan that we reproduce, through marriage. However, there is the small matter of hormones.
Hormones can influence our thinking and actions quite a bit. And God knows this. He made the system. He also gave us complete control over our actions, so that while we may be influenced by our hormones, ultimately we are the ones in control. Still, they can be a strong influence. A piece of advice in Song of Solomon is, “do not awaken love before it is ready”. I believe that is where dating becomes ultimately dangerous. For, if the reason we remove ourselves from the group setting is so that we can have privacy, then we lose accountability. Who is to say what may happen if love is awakened too early, while we are alone?
Now, I understand that some dates are all about just having fun. Going to a movie, eating out, picnics and even just staying out late so that you both can see the meteor shower that night together. For some people, dating is a system that works. I’m not here to condemn anyone. All I know is what I see, what I read in the Bible and what I feel myself. And it’s not about just being careful to avoid sin or lust. Really, I think what’s missing is accountability. And it can be had in other ways then just staying with your family. Let someone who cares about you know where you’re going and when you’ll be back. Let them understand to ask questions, check facts and just plain be there to keep you straight. I don’t suggest we take someone with us when we date. What I do suggest is more group setting activities and someone to keep you both accountable to each other, and to God. Because Jesus loved us first, as a groom loves His bride, He cares about us. We have already been “spiritually married” to Christ as the Church. Let’s follow His example to us in everything, even dating.
2 Comments:
:O TRUE DAT TO ALL DAT
good for you Andrew, I can see you thought that out.
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