Alone

No one understands me. No one knows what secrets I keep. And, I have no one to tell… I do not wear my feelings on the outside, trying to gain favor through them. Rather, I hide them so as to not influence others. But, I want others to know my feelings! This is the struggle I deal with, at least one of them. I want to be frank and open, but I don’t want anyone to feel emotionally obligated to act upon my hurts and joys. I feel that that would be either lying or deceiving and I cannot seem to convince myself otherwise.

I seem to be the only person who hides everything inside himself never looking for acceptance. But, I’m used to always being alone, always doing for myself. I’ve never felt like someone else needed me. Is it my fault for not telling them how much I need them? I’m used to being squashed emotionally, but that doesn’t mean I like it. In fact, I abhor it and would stop at nothing to prevent others from going through the same experience. But, when I have so blatantly been sent away, how do I come back to comfort you? Any torture would be easier than me seeing you hurting and being unable to comfort you. I hurt, not because I can’t help so much as I hurt because you hurt.

So what am I to do? It all seems so final, so finished. Yet, I refuse to let go of the last piece of hope. I refuse to simply say goodbye. I want to help you, but I am not permitted… And it hurts, because I genuinely want to help for no reason of my own, but for your sake alone. Is it wrong? Is it unusual? I do not know. I so desperately like to think that there is another out there who struggles as I do, but even in that it seems I am alone. So alone. Yet, is it not I who shut everyone out in my past? Is it not I who ran from everyone? And is this then my punishment? I know I deserve it, if that be the case… But, it’s all about second chances isn’t? If it weren’t for second chances then no one would have friends…

In closing, I really do have so many things to be thankful for that I really shouldn’t complain. I have a Savior, first and foremost, who has a plan for me. And although I do not feel worthy of His love, if He offers it to me then I must be. But, I still don’t feel as though I deserve all of this care. I am truly a wretch, and He still cares for me. I am truly pitiful and deserving of punishment, and yet He gave His life for mine. How can I turn my back on such love? I cannot. So although I do not deserve it and feel as though I shouldn’t have it, I will accept His love anyways, because it is His.

Hamlet

You can learn alot from the old masters of words: Dickens, Poe, Emerson, C.S. Lewis, etc... But, I personally must say that I really enjoyed this short excerpt from Shakespeare's Hamlet. Hamlet has just been "analyzed" by Guildenstern, who used to be a friend, but is now a spy against Hamlet. Hamlet knows this though, and is upset because Guildenstern seems to think that he knows Hamlet better than Hamlet knows himself. Just when Hamlet can't take it anymore, these musicians walk by with recorders. Hamlet asks for one and then answers Guildenstern as follows.
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Hamlet:
I do not well understand that. Will you play upon this pipe?

Guildenstern:
My lord, I cannot.

Hamlet:
I pray you.

Guildenstern:
Believe me, I cannot.

Hamlet:
I do beseech you.

Guildenstern:
I know, no touch of it, my lord.

Hamlet:
'Tis as easy as lying: govern these ventages with your
finger and thumb, give it breath with your mouth, and it will
discourse most eloquent music. Look you, these are the stops.

Guildenstern:
But these cannot I command to any utterance of harmony; I
have not the skill.

Hamlet:
Why, look you now, how unworthy a thing you make of me! You
would play upon me; you would seem to know my stops; you would
pluck out the heart of my mystery; you would sound me from my
lowest note to the top of my compass; and there is much music,
excellent voice, in this little organ, yet cannot you make it
speak. 'Sblood, do you think I am easier to be played on than a
pipe? Call me what instrument you will, though you can fret me,
you cannot play upon me.
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I've felt like that before. I've had people give me advice and say what I need to do or not do, and I don't like it one bit. I'm the only person who knows me. If someone wants to know how to "play" me, they need to get to know me. But I'm not the kind of person that lets too many people get that close. There are a few, I must admit, and I don't know where I'd be without them. Seriously though, there is no better defense to hide yourself behind than the defense of listening. If you listen instead of talking, you reveal nothing and learn everything. But, listening by itself is inaction, and will lead no where unless you do something about what you glean. If you hide well, it is true that you will not be found, but you will not find anything other than what is already with you in your hiding place.
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And now, some quotes from CS Lewis which I have had up before-





"The heart never takes the place of the head: but it can, and should, obey it."

"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."

"Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained."

"If you are really a product of a materialistic universe, how is it that you don't feel at home there?"

"This year, or this month, or, more likely, this very day, we have failed to practise ourselves the kind of behaviour we expect from other people."

Shadows

A special treat for you all this time! And by “you all” I obviously mean myself, because no one but I seems to read my posts… Please, if you read it, POST A COMMENT! It’s anonymous, so if you don’t leave a name, I won’t know who posted it.

Anywho, I wrote this story back when I was a freshman in high school after a particularly frustrating moment. I poured out that frustration into the first half, and when it came time to conclude the story, I was at peace and could end the story happily. So, without further comment, here is, Shadows.
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I hate this place. I hate this place’s evil attackers. All the shadows of encroaching evil are advancing upon this little cove of safety. My cove of safety. There, I hear them coming! Soon, they will come through the door. The Door. The Door that leads into my realm of security. Their claws scrape the protective barrier in anticipation. Soon, they will come through the door, I know. A crash! The door explodes into my sanctuary as a blur of energy. Their shrieks and snarls resound all the louder as I stare at the opening in the wall. An evil opening. A deadly opening.

The shadows advance through the portal of doom like so many ants, swarming through their tunnels in a mad effort to subdue and conquer all they know. My end is nigh, I know. Sweat flows freely from my every pore. A cold touch hits my shoulder like a heavy blow! I screech in terror and scoot towards the door. My mind scrambles as I try to remember why I feel dread as the portal looms before me. A fleeting thought passes through my brain like an explosion! To leave this room was death! Yet they were with me in the room, driving me towards the door.

I wept in terror, the most horrible cry that man can hear. The door was drawing ever nearer! I must get away from them! No, I must get away from the door! Thoughts fought in my head as armies. Once more I wept. It need not be this way! I must find another way! “Here is a way, my son”, I heard a voice say. “Where are you?” I screamed, desperate to find a savior. “Believe in me, and I will show you the light.” came the reply. “I believe! I believe! Just show me the way!” I screamed again.

“Here. How can you see in the dark of your mind, for surely, this is the darkest recess of your consciousness?”

A shaft of light splintered the darkness of the room of my sub-consciousness. I yelped as the light grew in intensity. It was hurting me! My skin ignited with a white fire and my mind burned in anguish. Then it stopped. The pain was gone, my sanctuary was aglow in holy, healing fire, and the shadows of evil were gone. They were gone! My heart cried with joy, a stark contrast to my wretched whimpering of before. “Thank you! Oh thank you!” I cried out. “Please, make yourself known to me!” I called. Then, I saw it. The door was once again in its place.

My ears detected a quiet knock, which I had heard before, but ignored, because the other noises seemed to take precedence. I slowly arose from the floor. Again, a strange sight surprised me. My clothes were now white and clean. I then opened the door for my savior.

The man on the other side of the door looked not as I expected. I had conjured images in my mind of a mighty warrior or a strong noble king. This man looked like neither. His hands caught my inquisitive eyes first. They had holes through them! The beautiful hands had been stabbed clear through! Words cannot describe the rest of him, except that he liked like love, incarnate in a human body. He smiled down at me. His very gaze bore straight into my soul. “Have you knocked long?” I asked, for lack of a better question. Kindness flowed from him in waves as he said, ”I have always stood and knocked here, and at any time I could have entered. It is better, though, to wait for the owner to open the door.”

“What do you require, lord?” I inquired.

“Only this; that you obey me and follow my teachings. Then, when this room crumbles, you may journey with me to paradise.”

With that, the man took a seat in the corner, and watched and guided me. All my life, he has protected me. And as I look at his face, I know only this, that I love my Jesus.

Gifts For and From All

So, it's been a while since I last posted an update. Well, this one is a good one, I think. Something this long would have never fit in my AIM profile. It's the whole reason I got this blog. So, read and enjoy!
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God’s gift to man was woman. God’s gift to woman was children. God’s gift to children was the ability to grow and become men and women. Gifts. That’s what life is all about. Gifts. The giving of one thing to another for no other reason than love. But, God is not the only one to give gifts. We give gifts to each other, and to Him as well.

Man’s gift to the woman was and is himself, and it is still rejected as often as it ever was. Man’s gift to children was and is his time, which often becomes a gift to the woman. Man’s gift to God was and is and will always be the praise of His name in all the man does.

Woman’s gift to the man is patience, which often times is undeserving. Woman’s gift to children is nurturing, which often seems less of a gift and more of a responsibility and a trial. Woman’s gift to God was and is and will always be the praise of His name in all the woman does.

Children’s gift to the man is the testing of patience, which is more of a gift for the children and a trial for the man. Children’s gift to the woman is the gift of insanity, which otherwise would make woman very predictable after becoming mothers. Children’s gift to God was and is and will always be the sense of curiosity and wonder at the world, and the ability to accept as truth even the most outrageous happenings of Scripture.

Now, it would seem as though the list has been completed, but there is in fact one more category of people which if left out would leave a hole in the whole treatise. That group is the children who are part-way to becoming men and women, otherwise known as college students.

Man’s gift to college students is the delay of his much sought after retirement (which is desirable for the man due to the gift of his children) by as much as forever. Woman’s gift to college students is the genuine concern and loving words that only a mother can give, and the heartfelt sadness at their parting (no matter how much of the gift of insanity her children gave her). Children’s gift to college students is the same as their gift to man, testing of patience, only to a lesser degree so as to give the college student at least one reason to be glad to go back to school. God’s gift to the college student is the gift of the Fruit of the Tree of Life, which used to grow on the actual tree, but now has to be stripped from the plastic package which has the word, “Ramen” on it.

College student’s gift to man is the hope that somehow their child will become a millionaire and he can retire anyway. College student’s gift to woman is the satisfaction of knowing that her college student will eventually receive children of their own who will give them back 10 fold the gift of insanity she was given, because as a Grandmother, she will be in a position to help the children with their goal. College student’s gift to the children was and is and will always be their room and anything that got left behind. College student’s gift to God is the gift of submission, of becoming the men and women that God wants them to be, of their own accord.
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Sorry, no quotes this time. My sources gave out! =P

Wow

Wow. I can't say anymore. This short speech that I just found speaks for itself...
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IS JESUS REALLY THE ONLY WAY?


The following notes are taken from Rob Rienow’s message to the Student Body on Fall Retreat 2001.




The question that we are going to tackle tonight is this…is Christianity The Only True Religion? Another way to ask this question is this, “Is Jesus the only way to be saved?” Or “Is Jesus the only way to God?”

In order to get at this issue…we have to back all the way up and talk about something called “truth.” If we are going to ask “is Christianity the only true religion” then we better understand what “true” means.

We need to start with two big words…the first word is “Pluralism” Pluralism means that live in a world with many options to choose from as far as what you believe…there are plurality or a plural number…more than one, and in fact many…religions to choose from.

But we also live in a relativistic world. Relativism says that we live in a world where all options are considered to be “true.” Relativism says that it does not really matter WHAT you believe as long as you believe it sincerely. This retreat…of course is all about the message that “WHAT you believe makes ALL the difference.”

Relativism says…It does not matter what religion you choose, because all religions basically teach the same thing, and as long as you believe it sincerely then it will lead you to God. Our country learned this was false on Sept 11, although we are slow in admitting it. How many of you would say that “Militant Muslim Fundamentalism” is an equally valid and equally good religion as “Judaism?”

But I thought that all religions basically taught the same thing? But I thought that all roads led to God? Don’t you just need to be committed to something and sincere in your beliefs? No, EVERY religion teaches and believes radically different things…that is why they are different. If they were the same…they wouldn’t be different!

Relativism says that “truth that depends on your perspective.” It depends on your point of view. Come on…you can’t say that what you believe is TRUE…it is just from your perspective.

Here is the basic idea that is taught today…the basic idea of relativism…All statements of fact are relative. No statement is absolutely true. All statements of fact are relative. All statements of fact are relative. Anyone see anything strange here? All statements of fact are relative…No statement is absolutely true. Relativism destroys itself because if all statements of fact are relative…then what about that statement itself? If nothing is entirely true, then neither is the statement “nothing is entirely true.”

There is such a thing as truth. We know that because of what is called the law of non contradiction…the law of non contradiction says that two opposite things cannot be true at the same time. Here is the basic example. You cannot say that God exists and that God does not exist at the same time. If one person says that God exists…and another person says that God does not exist…one of them, automatically is wrong. I am not saying who is right…you know what I think…but I am just talking logic here, brainpower, intelligence…it is amazing how little of it there is out there. If one person says God exist and another person says he doesn’t…then one of them is automatically wrong because they have made contradictory statements. One statement is true and one statement is false.

Now keep tracking with me…here is where we are right now.

1. Truth exists. For every one true statement there are a million false ones.
2. Every religion of the world teaches dramatically different and in many cases opposite things.
3. Whatever the truth is, determines whether or not a religion is true or not. If a religion teaches the things that are actually true then it is true. If a religion teaches things that are actually false then it is false. Since there can be only one truth, and many falsehoods, it follows that there is only one true religion and many false ones.

This may sound simple to some of you…but you will be amazed at the number of phds out there who have not grasped this concept…

So the challenge before every single human being…that would include you and me…is to find the truth…the truth matters. Everyone seeks it.

And I want to try and make the case for you tonight that Christianity is the only true religion in the world. I want to try and make the case for you tonight that the only way to be saved is through faith in Jesus Christ.

Now, to do this right, I would need about 10 hours. I’ll settle for 20 minutes. Obviously there are a lot of issues that I can’t get to…but let me dive in.

Let’s go right at it…we are going to examine where the evidence points us when it comes to Jesus Christ. John 14:6 listen to what Jesus says here, “I am the way, the truth, and the life, no one comes to the Father (meaning God) except through me.”

Notice that Jesus did not say that he was “a way, a truth, and a life, and that some people can come to God through me.” Jesus claimed that He is “the way, the truth, and the life, and that NO ONE comes to the Father except through Him."

Jesus said a lot of unpopular things, but this one probably tops the list for people today. Our world says, you believe what you want to believe, I’ll believe what I want to believe. The world says that if you say that Jesus is the only way that you are arrogant and narrow minded…That you are not tolerant! God does not say to be tolerant of people…He goes way beyond that, we are commanded to love people, not just tolerate them. We are to love people, but that does not mean agreeing with what they think, nor does it mean being accepting of ideas that are false, or being so open minded that your brain falls out. I can love you, and tell you in a loving way that I think you are wrong about something. Hopefully you can do the same for me…and some of you may do that this weekend…I can take it.

Let me tell you some of the things that Jesus claimed:

1. Jesus claimed to be God.
2. Jesus claimed to be the Creator of the World.
3. Jesus claimed to be the long awaited Messiah. (John 14:6)
4. Jesus claimed that the only way for a person to have their sins forgiven was to put their faith and trust in Him. (John 3:16-18)
5. Jesus claimed that the only way to heaven was by putting your faith in Him. (John 3:16-18)
6. Jesus claimed that He would come back again to defeat evil once and for all and to re-create the heavens and the earth.

Yikes. What if you went to school and started telling people these things. What would people think?

Now tonight, we are talking about truth…so the question that we need to ask is…Was Jesus telling the truth? Is it TRUE that He is God? Is it TRUE that He is the creator of the world? Is it TRUE that the only way for a person to have their sins forgiven is to put their faith and trust in Him?

I want to show you a powerful argument here…for the truth of Jesus’ claims.

Let’s take Jesus’ claim to be God. There are two immediate options that we must decide upon.

Either He was right or he was wrong.

If he was right then He was indeed God come to earth to save us from our sins and is the only way to be saved. If he was wrong, he either knew he was wrong, making a him an evil liar (what evidence is there for that?) Or he did not know he was wrong, making him a psycho (what evidence is there for that?)

There are only three options when it comes to Jesus…he is a liar, a lunatic, or he is the Lord. You cannot call Jesus just a good moral man. You can’t call him a good teacher or a good example. You cannot call him a nice prophet. Those are impossible conclusions to reach based on the things that Jesus said. Lord, Liar, or Lunatic. Where does the evidence point? Which one do you choose?

One of the reasons that I believe that the answer is LORD is because of His resurrection from the dead.

The apostle Paul said that if Jesus Christ, that if He was not truly and actually raised from the dead, then the person who believes in Jesus is to be pitied more than anyone else!” How much more pathetic can it get than to think that a scrubby 30 year old carpenter is the savior of the world. Jesus was either really right, or really really wrong. And every person needs to decide.

Remember Jesus did not come with a message of how to live a good life.

Jesus did not come to tell us about the truth.

Jesus came to tell us that he was the truth, to show us that he was the truth, to take our sins upon himself, and to break the power of death through his resurrection from the dead. JESUS himself is the centerpiece of history…not the things he taught.

BUT, if He did not rise from the dead on the third day…then everything about him is a waste and a lie.

Some people begin this discussion by saying that Jesus could not have been raised from the dead, because that just does not happen, that is just not possible. Why do you say that? Come on argue with me…Why couldn’t someone be raised from the dead? IF God exists, then the supernatural is possible! If the supernatural is possible…did it happen in this circumstance?

Let’s look at the evidence. Don’t look at your bias…look at history and logic.




1. History tells us that the tomb was empty. We know this for absolute fact. The Jews and the Romans hated the disciples for stirring up trouble telling people that Jesus was alive. They could have crushed this little Christianity thing by doing what? Producing the body. And it all would have been over…but they couldn’t because it wasn’t there.


2. If the tomb was empty, perhaps the body was stolen.

By the romans…this is almost too ridiculous to consider, they posted the guards to make sure nothing would happen…if they did it then again they could just produce the body and end this whole thing.

By the jews…again they all wanted to keep him dead…and if they had the body then they would produce it.

By the disciples…OK, the disciples scatter in terror thinking that everything they have believed in has been a lie, and then they get this cool idea. They will attack a roman battalion of guards who are executed if they fall asleep at their post or fail in their assignments, move the 2000 lb stone UP the mountain and get Jesus body out, so that they can tell people that Jesus rose from the dead and start their own religion. Cool right! 1, there is no evidence to suggest that they turned from scardycats to warriors over night 2, there is no reason to believe that they could defeat highly trained soldiers. 3, there is no reason why they would even try to lug the 2000 lb stone UP the hill after rolling it away, and most importantly and I want you to hear me on this…if the disciples stole the body, OR if they just made it all up (which could not be true because the body would have been produced)…then every one of them died for a lie.

11 out of the 12 disciples were executed because they would not stop preaching that Jesus had been raised from the dead. Now I know people who would die for the truth, and I know of crazy people who will die for anything, but I have never met anyone willing to die for something that they knew was a lie…not 11 men…and one just rotted in jail. Peter felt so strongly about it that when they told him deny that Jesus rose from the dead or we will crucify you he said…I can’t deny it and please crucify me upside down because I don’t deserve to die in the same way that my Lord did.

If the disciples wanted to make it all up, why not just say that Jesus was raised from the dead in spirit and we all saw him…that they might have been able to pull off…NO they said that God busted the tomb open, resurrected His Son, and that they saw Him with their own eyes, and that He is alive today. And folks, I believe, based on the evidence, that this is exactly what happened.

The evidence supports that Jesus Christ came back to life. To suggest otherwise is to ignore what history has to offer us. It is the only option that makes sense…I don’t think it is reasonable or rational to believe any of the other options.

Jesus was one of a kind…and so is Christianity…I began tonight by telling you that every religion of the world teaches dramatically different things…and that Christianity stands out as totally unique. All roads don’t lead to the same place. I want to conclude tonight by telling you three totally unique things about Christianity…and then ask you where you stand.

The uniqueness of Christianity:



1. God comes to man.

In every other religion of the world, you have to do certain things to win God’s favor or earn salvation. You have to pull yourself up to God in order to be saved. Jesus says there is nothing you can do to save yourself. You are at the bottom of a mile deep pit with a one ton weight on your chest. But I will come down into that pit, that is what I did on the cross, and if you ask me to, I’ll carry you out…because I love you. The difference is night and day.


2. God lives in our hearts in order to help us live for Him.

Every other religion expects you to do your best and be a good person by the sheer force of your will. They are all “do it yourself” religions. Good works in other religions are “in order tos” Do good works in order to be happy, in order to please God, in order to get to heaven. In Christianity Good works are “therefores”. God loves me therefore I will live for Him. Jesus died for me, therefore I will obey Him. God forgave me, therefore I will forgive others. The difference is night and day.


3. Jesus offers the assurance of salvation

If your salvation is a do it yourself kind, you have no way of knowing if you have arrived or not. When are you sure that you are saved? When are you sure that you have made God happy enough? When are you sure that the good in your life outweighs the bad? That is the basis of every religion in the world, except for one…Christianity. You are saved not on what you have done, but on whether or not you have accepted what Jesus Christ has done for you. If you are here and you have made the personal decision to go to Jesus, to confess your sins, in faith you have accepted his payment for your sins on the cross, and invited him into your life…I can tell you that there is no one, there is nothing, that can take your salvation away from you. You can be sure, that if you were sincere, that if you died today you would be with God forever. No doubt about it. Any other faith system…you just can’t be sure.





Conclusion:

Every one of us bets our lives on what we believe. What we believe makes all the difference. Everyone of us is gambling, with something very very important. We are gambling our life here on earth, and our afterlife…on what we believe.

If I am wrong about Jesus…then my faith and my life is worthless. My life will be a total waste, and my eternity may be even worse. Just because I believe in Christ sincerely does not make it true, right, good, or beneficial. If Jesus is not who He claimed to be, then I am wasting my time.

Each one of us has one chip to bet. You can only put your chip on one spot at a time. Place it wisely. The board is covered with religions…but only can be right…or if you think they are all wrong then put your chip on the atheist spot. You get one chip, and there is only one right answer.

The Bible tells us that every single one of us has sinned, and that our sin deserves judgment. Each one of us because of our rebellion against God deserves to separated from him forever. But because of God’s great love for us, He did not want to see us die for our sin…so He made a way…He made one way for us to be saved. He became a man in Jesus Christ…God come to earth…to take our sins upon Himself, and to die in our place on the cross. Because of his death and then his resurrection Jesus Christ, God himself, offers to you and offers to me the gift of forgiveness, the gift of hope, the gift of eternal life.

And there may be some of you here tonight who have not yet made the decision to accept Jesus Christ as the Savior of your soul…you can do that tonight.

I believe that God has spoken to some of your hearts…that tonight is your night to come home…to come to God… to ask him to fill that hole that you has been in your heart for as long as you can remember.
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I think that that deserves a, "nough said".

Short and unoriginal

This posting is exactly what the title says it is, short and mostly not mine.

I have found that many countrys have their own wise sayings, with America's sorely lacking depth. So, I have compiled a collection of them here for all to enjoy.
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He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.
-Chinese Proverb

Don't throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water.
-Swedish Proverb

It is not enough to aim; you must hit.
-Italian Proverb

Beginning is easy - Continuing is hard.
-Japanese Proverb

If the wind will not serve, take to the oars.
-Latin Proverb

As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.
-Bible
Proverbs 23:7
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If every tear I’ve shed for you was worth its weight in gold,
Then I would buy the world for you, and give to you to hold.

You’d hold the earth in your arms and warm it with your smile,
And every tear I’ve shed for you, each would be worthwhile.

Well, quotes are cool

I couldn't help it. After finding those CS Lewis quotes, I had to find quotes from other famous people, funny quotes, and some from myself. Here they are. And following the quotes is something I wrote.
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If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
- InfoWorld Magazine

My wordly Uncle- "Andrew, life is a buffet. You shouldn't starve yourself!"
Me- "I don't want to over eat either!"

I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much.
- Mother Teresa

Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.
- Anonymous
^That one cracked me up.

Results! Why, man, I have gotten a lot of results. I know several thousand things that won't work.
- Thomas Edison

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.
- Sidney J. Harris

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.
- Shirley Temple

I'm humble and proud of it!
- Me

Chance favors the prepared mind.
- Louis Pasteur
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I cannot end my post without the obligatory article authored by myself. So, here it is.


The recipe for a dream-

Ingredients
A heart full of hope
Ripe imagination
Distilled wonder
Sense of awe
Pure desire
Extract of Joy

Instructions
Add to the ripe imagination two parts wonder, seasoned with awe. Blend well with only the purest of desire. Let set until the extract of joy can be easily added. Pour over heart full of hope. Serves: As many as all, as few as one.

Dreams are what make the wait worth the wait, the reward worth the cost and make life in general worth the living. Without dreams, we have goals to reach. A quota. A simple task. With dreams, you desire what may be considered unattainable, reach for what is unreachable and look for what is invisible. Life for me would not be the same without dreams. I speak not of the random processes of thought going through your mind as you slumber, but of true dreams. Desires, hopes, our greatest wants. They are what we strive throughout our entire lives to reach, but only a very few will be obtained. Many are the seeds planted in spring, but only a few will grow to become flowers…

Fed up

I finally got fed up with the character limit in my AIM profile. This seemed a decent way to write what I want with no size limit. Besides, I have a blog here and I always wanted to post it's address in my profile. But, I think it's too personal for "public" consumption at this point (Heck, it got too personal the second day after I started it! And it's three months old now!). Hey, if you find it though, more power to ya!
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Be wary of your words. They can mean so many different things to different people. Words can crush a heart and break a spirit. Yet, they can also give wings to our dreams and let us soar. Spoken words are a reflection of our hearts, and written words are a reflection of our spoken words. But, even written words have great power. Worse, written words are easier to misinterpert as compared to spoken words. Therefore, please, please be careful of the words you write. What may seem to be an innocent comment to you, may to another mean such things as to cause them to despair.

Why do I care so much about words? Because, for years my life was in complete and utter despair because of the spoken words of my peers. It's not something I like to talk about... Who likes to bring up as the subject of conversation their greatest pain? To make the story short, it began in kindergarten. I know most people get made fun of, but it seemed as though I was the only one. Every word, every caustic remark, every malicious statement cut me to the core of my spirit. I avoided people my age, because all I got from them was more pain. Because of this, I "grew up" much quicker than I would have liked. I acted more adult because adults were the only people to accept me it seemed. Then, I made a friend. His name isn't neccessary. Those of you who know me will know him. He accepted me for who I was and showed me that not everyone was against me. He showed me how not every comment at me was meant to be mean. Some were only in jest. I don't know who I would be without him, but for once in my life, I was accepted. Now, eight years later, the wounds are finally almost healed. I don't expect you to understand the power of words through this speech, but I do expect you to understand why I feel so strongly about them.
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Quotes from CS Lewis-

"The heart never takes the place of the head: but it can, and should, obey it."

"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."

"Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained."

"If you are really a product of a materialistic universe, how is it that you don't feel at home there?"

"This year, or this month, or, more likely, this very day, we have failed to practise ourselves the kind of behaviour we expect from other people."